I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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