i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize