I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize