do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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