the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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