Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
