Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
accomplished twins. life is a go
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
