So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
