The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
