he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
