i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
