Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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