found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize