If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
