P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
