I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize