Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
