I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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