it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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