Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
