Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
