I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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