So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
