somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
barbara walters just said penis...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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