Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
