She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
