well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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