from now on my penis is your penis
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
