Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
