my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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