And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
