Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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