she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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