plz talk dirty to me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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