She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
