I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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