Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
