Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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