I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
