Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
