and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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