do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
