oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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