Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
