Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
