thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We're too hungover to prance.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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