Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
