Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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