I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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