I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
