We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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