thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
