He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
