so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
