that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
