i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
