Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize