her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
