Whod you bang
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
