I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
