did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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