I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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