It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize