we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
