its not stalking. its research.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
